Thursday, October 1, 2009

Why More Women Should Attend "Real" Hip-Hop Shows

With the A3C Festival kicking off today, I thought it would be a good time to give the ladies 5 Reasons to Attend a "Real Hip Hop Show."

For people who dig hip-hop that's not necessarily co-signed by urban radio, this is a cool festival, with tons of artists (most of which are actually good) and a generally good vibe. At least it was last year (check my wrap-up from last year). For the 2008 Festival, I was actually on the Women in Hip Hop panel alongside Roxanne Shante. Super cool. But honestly, aside from that panel (where I actually performed), the women were SCARCE. In fact, the only real female performer was Roxanne Shante who came out during the Juice Crew reunion. And of course, there weren't many women in attendance throughout the festival. I get tired of being one of only a handful of women at these kinds of shindigs. With that said, here's my list of women should attend more "real" hip-hop shows.

5 Reasons Women Should Attend "Real" Hip-Hop Shows

1. Wearing flats and sneakers make you sexier. Now, I've never been one of those women who need the 9 inch "Carrie" stilettos to make me feel complete. Hell, they hurt. I actually rarely wear heels period. But for my female counterparts, I know that heel-wearing is a big deal. Some of ya'll won't even leave the house without a pair on... nevertheless, you consistently complain about how they hurt your feet. Ah, the joys of womanhood. Well, at "real" hip-hop shows, sneakers and flats are not only accepted but encouraged. It's sexy. You'll be regarded as a "down chick who genuinely digs the music" even if you couldn't tell Blu from Stat Quo.

2. You'll get noticed without any effort. You know the incessant giggling girls do to get noticed? Or the chicks who talk to their friends extra loudly to get attention? or the women who deny themselves bra-power to let it all hang out? Well, at a "real" hip-hop show, such things are not necessary. There just aren't that many of us, which by default automatically demands attention. Men expect you to go see Lil Wayne or Drake. But if you show up at a Slaughterhouse show, you'll be dubbed the coolest. Now, if you're not really into hip-hop and are overwhelmed by the idea of a room full of wild neck-bobbing men, there are still a couple of acts you can check out: Little Brother (more women tend to check for them and the actually have danceable music), Blu (draws a laid-back crowd), Slum Village (laid back crowd, danceable music).

Little Brother fans

3. You'll only be referred to as a "ho" if the rapper is telling a really intricate, witty story. There will be no demands for you to drop it like it's hot, take off your panties and there will be no blow job requests (unless of course the request is followed with a self-deprecating laugh indicating seriousness only if you're down). See, "real" rappers are all about respecting the ladies and rejecting the status quo on the radio. Yes, Murs, Talib Kweli and whoever else probably want to shag you just the same as OJ the Juiceman and Yung Ralph. But the difference is that the aforementioned want to bone you with RESPECT. Get it? Eh.

4. Free weed. I'm not inclined to smoke these days, but if you delight yourself in greenery, "real" hip-hop heads will share.

5. Cool points. If you're a woman and you are spotted at a "real" hip-hop show, you will forever be considered cool by any man who spots you there-- well, as long as you're wearing your sneakers of course.

Random Tips on Nabbing a Cutie in the Crowd at a "Real" Hip-Hop Show:

**Even if you don't like the music, understand the music, or know who the hell the dude on stage rapping so sincerely into the mic is, just bob your head whenever the crowd does. When your neck gets tired, do your best not to look bored. Instead just stare contemplatively at the rapper or DJ on stage as if you are truly trying to decipher his lyrics. You'll look deep and concerned and most of all, as if you truly enjoy "real" hip-hop.

Kool G Rap

**If you spot a cutie in the crowd you'd like the specific attention of, there's something that you can do that will immediately spark his interest. If the rapper on stage looks a little grimy and you hear the words "hustle," "corner," "street," or "grind" used, lean over to said cutie and say that most rappers these days are totally influenced by Kool G Rap, and that Kool G is so underrated. If the rapper on stage has messy hair, looks kind of sleepy and you hear the words "self," "knowledge," "earth," or "higher power," lean over to said cutie and say that most rappers these days are totally influenced by Tribe Called Quest and Q-Tip is really an innovator. Let me know if works.


Lisa said...

Ha. I love this. I usually am one of the only chicks @ hip hop shows, I tend to take a guy friend along to not feel too intimidated. Makes it a little harder to get backstage tho :-\

FireBrand said...


Nanci O said...

this is a great list as to why women should attend hip hop shows.

was there a women in hip hop panel this year?

Nanci O

4 Cryin Out Loud said...

hey nanci! yeah there was a panel... and there were more women performing although they were all pretty much all on the same stage...

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