Friday, June 27, 2008

Invisible Woman

I tell ya'll what. Being in Denver sure will make you love a place like the A.

Yeah, I complain about the influx of gay men and pseudo gay, tight shirt and pants wearing, electronica listening dudes. But damn. When you actually experience a real drought, it makes you appreciate the little bit of moisture you got at the crib.

I've been in Denver for the past three weeks, dealing with some shit, visiting the fam (including my niece who is the cutest thing going right now)-- you know, enjoying life outside of the entertainment industry and lame ass blog world.

Being with my family was wonderful, but when I went anywhere else in the city, I felt totally invisible. What I mean is... black men in Denver ARE NOT CHECKING for my black ass. Or any other black woman's ass for that matter.

Dude, I thought I was over my infuriation with black men who date white women. Seriously. When I saw brothers with white girls, I was cool. They didn't even warrant a second glance. They didn't make my blood boil or make me think they were too much of a punk to handle a black woman. All of those feelings had died. Or, so I thought.

Being in Denver took me back like 10 years, dude. The brothers out there are absolutely OPPOSED to brown skinned-ed women. Not once did a dude do a second glance, send me an acknowledging nod, smile my way... man. I may as well have not even existed. (Okay, one dude did say what's up "beautiful" but he was clearly from the Civil Rights generation so it don't count).

I'm not being on no eogtististical, insecure shit, but damn, man. Really? I thought black chicks were popular again. I mean, Beyonce, Rhianna... even the Delilah chick the Plain White Tees sang about gets love. (She ain't black, but she's at least ethnic). What's up in the Mile High?

And it's not like the white women that the black dudes be with are Angelina Jolie or Charlize Theron. Hell, they ain't even Jennifer Aniston. They be on some like, super scraggly shit, dude.

Slowly but surely, I felt all of my old feelings of resentment bubbling to the surface. I heard myself start mumbling things like "sellout," "toms"... ya know, the old rude names I used to say. I think it's because in Atlanta (and other cities), when you see a black dude with a non-black chick, it's like, scattered here and there. It allows me to believe that the two met, fell in love, and that the shit is somehow genuine. In Denver, where EVERY black dude avoids black chicks like the plague, it seems deliberate. Intentional. Offensive. Backwards as hell.

Anyways, I had to get that off of my chest. I'm feeling much better now that I'm back in Atlanta. I'm back to being visible again. I even smiled and giggled at the crackhead who called me "beautiful" before promptly asking me for two dollars. Ain't nothin' like being acknowledged.


Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

i am in the atl also

Nice spot u have here, hope u don’t mind the drive by, do chk me out one day

rawdawgbuffalo and if u like what u read, maybe u will come back, even Blog Roll Me

Monk said...

Uh, yeah...welcome back.



It is funny though, when you think about it. Those of us who are products of multi-ethnic backgrounds are usually the most vocal dissenters of interracial dating...

But that's still some Mantan shit going on in Denver. From what I hear, it's like that all over the Midwest.

Is that why Obama's winning?...

Dollarado Jae said...

Damn J.... Most of the time when I come to your blog.. I feel you...But being a black man in Denver.. I gotta say you "GOT IT ALL FUCKED UP". I'm not gonna say that there aren't brothas in Denver that date white girls.. but to say that every black man out here is on that bullshit is really taking it too far.. I've NEVER dated a white girl.. and when we "brothas" go out to the clubs... trust me .. BLack women are our focus and target for the nights activities and romances. Where the hell did you go while you where here???? LODO?

I will say this though.. for the brothas that do actually date them WG's .. many do it becuase the black community in Denver is pretty damn small and if you grew up here you KNOW EVERYBODY and probably went to school with most or have been seeing them at all the same spots for years.. So to avoid the inevitable shit like always having to date some guy you know's baby mom or ex-girlfriend.. many have to step out the circle in order to stop "recycling old pu**y..."

When EVER I meet new chicks... they are always familiar with a whole bunch of other guys I know out here.. and that shit gets old fast.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience out here..(it didnt have to be like that for you)... man ... you struck a nerve today... i think I'm gonna have to write about this on my blog later tonight...

Hit me on gmail J.. you know whasup..

samax said...

black women are the tasters choice.
some dudes like easy access, and white broads are everywhere.

but in the south (texas counts as the south, right?), sisters are not going out of style.
not with real brothas (i can't speak for the soap opera types...).

Maxine said...

First things first. I live in Denver and someone should have told you about Cafe Nuba. Last Friday of every month, it's like our MECCA. Every ankh yielding, head wrap wearing cat is in the place. This cat walked up to me and BOWED to his "Black Queen." Now dig me, some of it is bullshit, pimpin hoes gently, as I like to call it but most is real. As a Black women living in Denver but from NY, it took me a minute to find the ultimate "Black scene" in D-town but trust me, it is there. Although on the surface yeah, the brothers you see on the regular are dating Becky and Nancy. It's true. Come back to the Mile High, and let us know, we'll take care of you.

boi-dan said...

"too much of a punk to handle a black woman."
Nah, don't say that, a lot fat and sassy black girls use that as an excuse to wave responsibility and neglect improving their flaws. It's 2008 and the hood is global so to speak, so black women have to compete with white women and other races. And b/c there are more stable white families than black families and white folks have an easier time in society and too many black women don't have a proper father/male template, they unfortunately can't interact with a man as good as white women. They are more prone to role conflicts, etc....

Just like black women complain that there aren't enough single, str8 black men, we feel a void also. While our issue is probably jail and death, you guys issue is excess weight and attitude. No black man wants to come home from fighting the man to fighting with his wife. All our life we see other black men constantly portrayed negatively on the news, tv, etc... and some of us say we got to step to the plate, but when it come time to tell black women what they can work on, all hell breaks loose.

A lot of underachieving black girls hate on mix couples, b/c they slackin' and they know it, they subconsciously are thinkin' if we limit black men options they maybe settle for us....

//I never dated a white girl, I love black women. Thats why I'm typin' this, I see too many single-mothers handing down their bad habits to generation after generation and its bounced back out to black society as a whole.

"I love sweet black pussy, but not the attitude that comes with it" DJ Quik