Monday, January 28, 2008

Invasion of the...Mormons?

Since when is the head of the Morm0n Church dying **Breaking News!**?? I didn't even know they had a "head" of the Morm0n church. I was watching the local news last night (trust me, it was by accident- the local news scares the good sense outta me) and they interrupted the nightly psychological warfare (thanks, Tay) to tell us that shit. I clearly don't expect much from our local news outlets, but....Really?

Then I promptly remembered good ole' Mitt Romney is kinda the front-runner for the Republicans and he is a Mormon, thereby making every event in Mormon life a damn top news story. America is so stupid. Mormon's, although slightly less so than Catholics, pretty much scare the shit outta me as well.

Take a look at what the BBC wrote about his death....

"By tradition, a new Church president must be ordained within days on a unanimous vote of the Council of the Twelve Apostles..."

The council of 12, huh? Sounds like a J.K. Rowling book.

Which leads me to a question that I've been meaning to ask for a minute...what is up with the Mormon overload? You know my skeptical ass-- I thought it was too coincidental that HBO started airing Big Love, and then shortly thereafter a dude announces his bid for the Big White House.

Not that there's any real point to the question-- I don't know that a Mormon-ran country would be too much different than how it is now. Sure, what I know (and that's not much) of their doctrine is blatantly racist (have you EVER known a black Mormon?)- but that's been the American way since forever, so no shift there.

Anyhoo, enough of the Tom Foolery. I was just sayin... don't be surprised if Romney is the next president of the great U.S. of A.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Back to Black

Since everyone is sending around the Amy Winehouse smoking crack! video, here's a more positive link of her. She really is an amazing talent. Instead of laughing, bashing and judging-- how about praying for her recovery? I know, I know...It's not cool. It's not sexy. But it's real.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

advertising execs take heed

Would someone please send these lame advertising folks the memo that Hip Hop is no longer the cool thing in pop culture? Really, dude. It gave up the ghost like 2 years ago. Let it go.

That Visa check card commercial with the people pop-locking their way to the check out counter in their corny, flaming pink and blue bright colored "hip hop" clothes is dumb as hell. I mean, who really dresses like that?

And I know it's been out for a little minute, but when did Alvin & the Chipmunks start wearing dookie ropes? Let it go, people. Let it go. You've milked it dry. Go find another cow.

Oh, and on some other randomness...I apparently have never seen a McGriddle before, but i just saw a commercial for it and it scared the crap out of me. Like, who eats food with big ass logos stamped on it? As if in the middle of eating it you were going to suddenly forget where you got it from? I dunno, my friend M&M told me I'm hella late and dumb for even writing about something that's been out for years...He's probably right.

Black is Good Enough For Me

What is it with "educated" black folks who support Obama's presidential bid feeling the need to constantly follow-up every positive thing they say about dude with... "And I'm not voting for him just because he's black!"

Uh... I am.

In this country, with it's history-- why ain't I entitled to vote for a presidential candidate just because he's black? I'd be a damn fool NOT TO. Let's get real people.

I was watching Lou Dobbs Tonight yesterday and he had four black commentators on there discussing the role race is playing in the democratic race...blah, blah, bullshit. But the overwhelming plot line to the babbling was that black people were voting for Obama, not because he's black, but because he's the "best man for the job!" The underlying point behind this declaration is that black people really do have the intelligence to skillfully dissect the "real issues" at hand and use their analysis and informed judgment to make a voting decision. Basically, we're still trying to prove our intelligence to white folks.

Well, here's a reality check people-- voting for Obama just because he's black, is in actuality, the intelligent thing to do. Is Hilary, John, or any of the republicans going to really be as innately connected to the black experience and the things that need to happen politically for black people to get ahead in society as Obama-- a black man? The answer is, no. And explanations aside, I'd much rather look at Obama sitting in the oval office than any one of those other white folks running.

Does that make me simple? If so, I don't give a hot damn.

After Lou Dobbs went off, the next show did some segment where they were interviewing executives from the automotive industry. One was a black woman, the other a white man. Towards the end of the segment, the host asked them which candidate they thought would be best to help the plight of their industry. The black woman literally began stammering and stuttering. You could tell she was thinking if she said Obama, she would be falling into exactly what the white host and her white counterpart thought she would say, and that would somehow make her appear less intelligent. In the end, she chose not to answer at all, saying she couldn't make a decision at this time. Next, the question fell to the white executive. Quick as a wink dude blurted out, "Mitt Romney!"-- and quite proudly I might add.

Black folks, get with the program. There's nothing wrong with voting for Obama just because he's black. If you need more incentive, know that white people have been doing it since the beginning of time. Just watch American Idol.

So the next time someone asks you why you're voting for Obama, cut the bullshit and say it loud: "CUZ HE'S BLACK, SUCKAAAAS!!!"

Friday, January 11, 2008

The Great Depression

Dude, tell me we ain't in the midst of a damn depression. I mean, yeah, I've been knowing the economy is jacked-- but my mouth literally dropped open when my buddy, Encylopeezia Brown, shot me this article from CrossRoads News, the paper that serves DeKalb County:

"More than 4,000 job hunters showed up Monday seeking 400 positions at the new Memorial Drive Wal-Mart Supercenter that is opening in March..."

Like... read that again. 4,000 PEOPLE. 300 people were in the line when it opened at 6 a.m. Then they wonder why athletes are around here getting carjacked and whatnot. I'm damn near afraid to ride around in Peter Parker (that's my 2002 Dodge Neon with the bum axle and white paint mark on the side from where I accidentally scraped against a pole at the gas station).

I'm telling you, there might not be folks lined up in soup lines like in Cinderella Man, but trust me, they're outside on the curb, standing near shopping complexes, at bus stops and outside of other businesses all day, trying to hustle up some work.

Last week, I saw of group of men on the corner around lunchtime, waiting to do odd jobs suddenly run over and swarm this car. Kinda scared me at first, I thought that maybe they were about to jack dude for his well-driven Acura. Turns out the guy was some promoter and wanted someone to tag the lot with his flyers. You shoulda seen the look on the other men's faces-- the ones that didn't get picked. Made my stomach hurt.

Don't let the smiling faces on MTV fool you. Shit is sick out here.