So, this wonderful holiday season while I was visiting, my mom insisted that I watch one of her all-time favorite movies when she was growing up, Splendor in the Grass starring natalie Wood and Warren Beatty in his first role--- yeah, you know that it's, like, hella old.
Anyways, in this one part Natalie, who plays the role of a virgin battling with her inner-horniness/hormones decides to say eff it, and in a classic Olivia Newton-John moment (now I know where Grease got it from) she dresses up like a semi-hooker and attempts to seduce the love of her life, Budd (Beatty's character), who has recently dumped her so that he could get it on with town tramp, without having the bad conscience he would have carried had he had boned his virgin girlfriend. Pretty dumb, but it worked for 1961. So, Natalie attempts to seduce Bud, but he knows she's acting out of character and basically pushes her away, telling her that she's "not that kind of girl!" Natalie breaks down for real this time, screaming and crying, begging Bud to have her as she wails, "I have no pride! I have no pride!"
Ever felt like that?
I have. Shit, I do. Once or twice (twice) over a man and pretty consistently over Hip Hop. I mean, how can I be proud about loving and being part of a genre that regularly hates me, neglects me and gives f--- less how I' m represented?
But I guess reaching your breaking point like that will either do one or two things: give you a moment of clarity so that you can move on, or in rarer cases, make the object of your pridelessness realize that you're sincere and appreciate you more. I can't lie, I've never ever seen the latter happen-- not with men, or with rap music.
Neither did poor Natalie, who ended up institutionalized over Bud.
But I still ain't mad. Just a little crazy.